IC Inbox for Ophiuchus

[tsunverde]

[He hasn't recorded a personalized message, so anyone who calls will be treated to whatever automated greeting the phone came with.]

Comments

10/3 Text [misfire]

[needsapose]

I got this frog butt plug, but I don't bottom- do you want to try it out?

[tsunverde]

Of course I don't.

Who put you up to this?

[Kise? Imayoshi? Was Mayuzumi upset about the cavity search thing? It wasn't his fault! He wasn't in his right mind!]

[needsapose]

Oh well, it wasn't meant to be sent to you, but it looks like fun. I think if you clench the eyes pop out?

[tsunverde]

Did I ask for details?

[needsapose]

I thought If I gave details it would be more appealing? Have you ever used a butt plug before?

[tsunverde]

Then you're an idiot if you think eyes popping out of [what doesn't get communicated in the final text message is the time it took him to continue typing] there is more appealing.

Of course I haven't.

[It was a full-fledged dildo. But that wasn't the question.]

10/3 [hello misfire]

[perspicacitas]

[lets try this again.]

Now what would be an appropriate punishment for forgetting your cuffs, hmm?

Perhaps I should clamp your nipples and spank you til you beg me to stop? Would you even beg me to stop, little cock slut?

[tsunverde]

Check your contacts more carefully before you send an explicit message, you fool.

[Because there's no way this is meant for him.]

[perspicacitas]

Oh, Midorima-kun. I assure you I checked my contacts most thoroughly.

[make of that what you will]

[tsunverde]

Ignoring everything else about the message as not even worth responding to, I don't own any cuffs, so there is no way I could have forgotten them.

[perspicacitas]

Really? A shame that, Midorima-kun. They can be quite enjoyable. They leave you subject to your partner's undivided attentions.

Though if memory serves me right, I reckon you may enjoy the nipple clamps more, hmm?

[tsunverde]

Is that why you're wasting my time with this conversation, to rub that in?

10/3; (mis)text

[redoubles]

I wanna pick him up and throw him in the ocean but then he'd probably climb out and kill me and it'd suck even worse `(๑ △ ๑)`*

[tsunverde]

[He has never in his life been happier to receive a message from Kise, just by virtue of the fact that it doesn't contain a single mention of sexual implements.]

If you're planning to commit murder, only an idiot would leave behind messages describing the plan.

[redoubles]

[ Just wait until he finds out it's about the continuing cold war with Akashi! ]

I wouldn't kill him. Just make him SUFFER

[tsunverde]

If I ask you who you're talking about now, will that save time and keep this conversation from going on forever?

[redoubles]

Probably. I'm talking about Akashicchi, duh.

[tsunverde]

Of course. How could I have not guessed?

[Akashi being someone people enjoy making suffer aside.]

10/3; (mis)text

[airwalk]

kise help i think nigou peed on midorima's shirt

[tsunverde]

Do you or the dog want to die first?

1/2

[airwalk]

midorima????

[airwalk]

if u kill nigou kise will cry

[ Which will be too annoying to bear, right?! ]

[tsunverde]

Of course it's me.

That's not something I care to hear or see.

[That is an easy out, yes.]

[airwalk]

so dont kill nigou

or momoi will get mad 2

an ill fix ur shirt n e way

[tsunverde]

Killing him would be too much trouble.

Which shirt was it?

[Please let him say KiseRyo or terrible basketball vest. Come on KiseRyo or terrible basketball vest.]